This is a story that I have been working on to be told on stage. It is a true story about my short lived stint selling security systems door-to-door. It was a strange and adventurous time in my life. The story is about my friend Darrall.
"Darrall spoke wish a brash, Brooklyn accent, though I’m sure he had never been to New York.
He was from a small farming community, just like me.
We first met in Fairfax, Virginia. Neither of us had ever been to Fairfax, and didn’t know where Virginia was until we ended up living there.
Darrall lived in the condo above me. He listened to R and B music loudly, played poker and drank everyday.
We were both employees of Pinnacle Security. We sold security systems door-to-door, six days a week. Pinnacle was a mormon company based out of Salt Lake City, Utah. The Church of Latter-day Saints.
The company hired young, mormon men, many of whom had just completed missions. During these missions, the boys left home for a year or two and tried to sell eternal redemption. Selling security systems was much easier. It was a perfect system.
The company hired us thinking we were nice, mormon boys. We were not. We were con-artists. I didn’t know this yet, Darrall knew this for a long time.
Everyday at noon we were dropped off in random Virginia suburbs. We would knock on doors and try to sell security systems. They would pick us up just after dusk. Some of us sold systems, some of us didn’t.
Darrall refused to be dropped off at noon. “No one is home until 6 PM. Your wasting six hours of my time.”
For the first three days, the company complied and Darrall stayed at the condo and went to the pool. On the fourth day they threatened to fire Darrall unless he went out at Noon.
On the fifth day, Darrall went to a mall and set up a booth. He put up a banner that said, “enter to win a free security system.” People did sign up. They filled out the ballot with their name and phone number. After a few hours, mall security kicked Darrall out. He called every single person who entered and signed a few people up for a three-year contract.
The company offered us free rent in the condos, a cell phone, pepper spray, an American working visa, and $400 travel money, plus commission.
Darrall used all his pepper spray on the nice mormon boys. He sprayed their toothbrushes, boxer shorts, their food, and occasionally, he sprayed them directly in the face.
On the 13th day, I took my U.S. working visa, my cell phone, and the only $400 to my name and moved to the beach.
The company threatened to cut off my cell phone and flag my U.S. working visa....they never did.
Before I left, Darrall asked me for the spare key to the condo, my parking pass and the key fob that opened the front gate of the condo complex.
The company leased the condo units for four months.
On the seventeenth day, Darrall put an ad in the local paper to rent out the condo unit below him. The condo I had lived in.
On the nineteenth day, he charged a young couple, first and last months rent, plus a $100 deposit for the condo complex key fob. They wrote him a cheque for $2,100.
He cashed that cheque and moved to the beach.
A few months ago I stayed at Darrall’s house. He owns a company in Wyoming now. We were drinking and reminiscing about the old days.
“I wonder how long that young couple got to stay in the condo before the company realized I rented it out,” he said.
Darrall spoke wish a brash, Brooklyn accent, though I’m sure he had never been to New York."